Decision Fatigue is a thing.
It is something many of us are struggling with in this continuous time of pandemic and it is something that I know very well since having had a burnout.
Basically, your ability to make decisions can get worse after making many decisions, you can literally be tired of making decisions and may feel overwhelmed by seemingly little choices.
Sound familiar?
I am actually really good at making big decisions. Hey, we gave up our home again, so that we could get out of the big city and homeschool the kids by the beach. And we made all that happen in under two months. Yet, I also crave clarity and simplicity. Which is a huge challenge as Covid, lockdowns, travel restrictions, learning good ways to homeschool our two kids, helping kids process big emotions, is kind of the opposite of clarity and simplicity.
I was looking for a merino dress online and I came across the dress company wool& whose aim is “to design the most practical, most wearable item in your wardrobe.” And they invite you to participate in their 100 Day Dress Challenge.
The concept is simple. Wear the same dress for 100 days. Simplify, wash less, no need to think about what to wear, more appreciation of simplicity and quality.
I loved the idea from the moment I heard it and was happy to get my dress this spring.
Finding this one place of clarity and simplicity is amazing.
While it took me a moment to become used to my new dress, we are now inseparable. This dress has become my uniform, cocoon, powershield.
I have completed the challenge and I am now on Day 108 as I continue to wear it until I get my reward dress (yes, you actually get a reward for completing the challenge!).
Having my one dress, that I knew I would just wear every day, definitely gave me a piece of mind on one small level. And I may just now realize how grateful I am for the ease of decision fatigue it offered.
When we came to Portugal I had packed for winter, and all my previous summer dresses were worn out over many seasons. By now we decided to continue on long term travels and I plan to only have three dresses and some basic layering pieces as my wardrobe. This is not a new concept as we have been on long term travels before. Just this time it feels like I am really in love with the pieces I am getting and I am actually doing it in style. Makes me happy.
There are many reasons women participate in this dress challenge. The facebook group for the challenge is one of the most supportive places I have encountered online. It has been really interesting to read the different stories of learning to love your body, to let go of addictive fast fashion behaviours, to let go of mountains of clothes on your chair, to let go of other people’s judgements and learn that most people you see every day don’t even notice you are wearing the same dress, to learn about sustainability, and to simplify your life intentionally and make space for what you really care about.
I have talked with a few coaching clients about the challenge and the point of finding that one place of clarity and simplicity is what they all connect to.
It doesn’t have to be your wardrobe, yet I ask you:
What is an area in your life that you would like to simplify?
Maybe even in a drastic way, in order to have more energy and clarity for your life in general?
I would love to hear your answers!
Joy Zalzala-Soyka
I am a life coach for people who (want to) live their individual versions of a great life, beyond the norms of society.
I specialize in working with people in biracial / multicultural relationships and people from various lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans* and inter* communities.
As a Law of Attraction Coach I work across Europe and North America, offering you support through personal sessions over the phone and zoom, as well as books and articles here on the website.
Steps I took to make full-time travel with family my reality.
Does this thought sound familiar? “I would love that, but it's just not possible for me.”
It sure occupied my mind a year ago, when I first thought of traveling long-term.
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Managing Time: Balancing Realism and Quantum Magic
Me to my wife: Hey, so you know how Lucky (our 10 year old) always says that she perceives the passage of time differently? That is totally a thing! Yesterday in my ADHD training we talked about time blindness. Many with ADHD perceive time differently than neurotypicals - they may just experience the passage of time differently and oftentimes they don’t have a good estimator of how long things take, which can cause a lot of stress due to over- or underestimating in their time planning.
I talked with a client later that day, where this actually came up, and she wants my help with time management and I am so glad I learned more strategies to help clients get more realistic at estimating time.”
And then my wife gives me that look, a look that is appreciative yet about to give me a challenge: ”Well… do you really want us all to be more realistic? Or can we keep magic in life, acknowledge quantum physics, that time is not linear and you can help your clients to manifest more time?”
Oh, I had to sit with this question for a while!
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Inner Journey – Sessions
Access your body wisdom through
Inner Journey - Sessions
Want you connect to your inner source, take an inside look around your own body for wisdom and knowledge, process painful memories and gain strength and clarity for your next steps?
That is what Inner Journey sessions are all about!
We meet on zoom for a 2 hour session, you get to sit back and relax, and I guide you through a powerful process that is powered by your own body wisdom.
My Inner Journey sessions are based on the “Physical Journey” process by Brandon Bays, who I trained with a decade ago. Our body holds so much wisdom. If you ever wondered why you can understand things with your mind, but that does not help you shift your emotions or actually change how you do and approach things, the answer may lay in your cellular memory.
An Inner Journey allows you to get answers from your own body, let go of the charge of painful memories, access forgiveness for yourself and others and strengthen your mind body connection.
I integrate a 3 hour Inner Journey session in my monthly coaching packages, and my 2 hour Inner Journeys are available to all clients on an individual basis. Feel free to contact me, to learn more about Inner Journeys and how they can help you in your process.
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Allowing myself to get unstuck and move to ease and safety
Half a year ago I really wasn’t doing good. I thought I was completely stuck in a system that didn’t make any sense - the Covid regulations at the kids school were absurd, my strong willed kid refused to comply with the expectations of mandatory schooling and showed us in every painful way possible that doing things that are in complete contradiction to your true self is absurd, I felt misunderstood, lonely and desperate trying „to make things work somehow“ in a system of requirements and regulations. Of course I also shamed myself with the „you should know better, you should be able to deal with this better“ self talk…
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Spiral Upward
You know how sometimes it feels like you are running in circles? The same topic keeps on showing up again and you feel frustrated because you think you should know better. You feel like you failed at applying all the insights you have had last time you have dealt with this topic: You ask why am I at this point again?
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I am worthy
I am worthy. Three simple words that are hard for many of us to say and feel.
If you have experienced structural violence or discrimination in your life, chances are that it has had effect on your self worth. You might feel that no matter how much you do - it is never quite enough, that you are not deserving of having nice things, of being truly happy, of pursuing the things you want to do, that you are not deserving for things to be easy for you.
So let me remind you: You are worthy.
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My child just came out to me! What do I do?
My daughter told me she has a crush on another girl.
My son just told me he is non-binary.
My child came out to me as pansexual, I'm not sure I understand what that means!
WHAT DO I DO?
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Black Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter and we need visionary activism. Law of attraction teachings need to embrace activism and offer ways to change systematic oppression
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Free Email Series on Relationships
While I have 10 years of experience as a relationship coach and counsellor, there are a lot of things I am personally still figuring out about living in a good relationship, being a good partner and mom while staying connected to myself.
0 Comments3 Minutes
Travelling as a rainbow family
What I would like to share with you today is the specific situation of travelling as a rainbow family. It was more challenging than I thought for reasons I didn't expect...
0 Comments16 Minutes
I just wanted an uncomplicated affair!
Ten years ago I was done with relationships. In my experience relationships were hard work. I just wanted an uncomplicated affair - which led to me meeting my wife...
0 Comments5 Minutes